Saturday, December 15, 2012

Movie review - Fire & Ice The Dragon Chronicles

What a piece of crap this was.  Even as a made for TV movie this was a smelly piece of cow pie.  The movie of course is Fire & Ice The Dragon Chronicles.

It was grand in vision and light on delivery.  If one watches closely you can almost see a great movie hiding somewhere in the implausible scenes, bad acting, and poor writing. 

Even with some good actors the writing is so bad they cannot save the film.  There are two fairly well know actors in this movie.  First is Arnold Vosloo who played the mummy from the film of the same name with Brendan Fraser.  Arnold plays King Augustin in this film.  Augustin is a fair and noble king, he is also the father of our main character Princess Luisa.

Secondly we have John Rhys-Davies whom I will forever remember as the professor from the 90's TV show "Sliders."  John plays Sangimel in this film, Sangimel is the mentor of our main hero Gabriel.

Now that I have mentioned the good lets put the last piece of negative bread on this reverse compliment sandwich shall we.

Let's see, where shall we start.  The princess, she keeps sneaking out and no one ever seems to know where she is, why, because they have no f'ing guards.  This castle they live in has no guards to speak of and no real defences.

On to the dragons, how can you screw up dragons you say?  Make them look like giant sky going manta rays with dragon heads?  Hey that would be something that no one has seen before, lets do that.  No, don't do that.  The only redeeming value to the dragons is the fact that the fire and ice effects are done magnificently.

The sky battle between the two is very confusing though.  The scene keeps cutting to them fighting and to the so called heroes running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to go somewhere.  To safety, to the bad guys, to another movie with a better plot?

Another problem with this movie is that you never really get a sense of where the actors are.  By this I mean they seem to keep going from one place to another but you are never quite sure why they are going in the first place.

Having said all of this I have to rate this film two somewhat smiley Mike heads.  Sadly I have seen worse films, the array of movies at Family Video still amazes me.  They have both good and bad alike.  The fun of finding the gems among the rubbish keeps me going back though.

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